Its been a long day of reading today, in the coffee shop for the first half of the day, and in my office for the afternoon and early evening. Reading that is directed towards filling out some gaps in the Oct 1 manuscript. It is really difficult, when you've spent weeks and weeks pumping out words by the hundreds and thousands, to feel as if reading is actually accomplishing something. I've gone through these cycles in my writing to know that this is my info gathering stretch before the revising marathon, and yet, I feel a slight twinge of guilt about my middle of the night run to the store to pick up the chocolate I've been craving as my reward for meeting today's work goal.
I'm trying to stay focused on work this week, as I allow myself to fully absorb the end of a relationship that has really sustained me through so many years now. I'm remembering my friend K. who very patiently told me over and over again, when I just couldn't bear to look at my dissertation any longer, she would say, "just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Its all you can do sometimes." I'm glad that I am able to do that right now and relieved that I'm not crumbling the way I thought I would if this ever happened.