An ABD friend of mine recently consulted her father (who has a fifth grade level of education) about completing her dissertation. She was delighted when he gave her exactly the answer that she needed to hear. I recognized that I too, consult my father on everything under the sun, safe in the knowledge that he will have my answers.
When I was about seven or eight, my cousin had a set of encyclopedias that I noticed he used to consult all the time to do his homework, and I begged my father to buy a set for my sister and I also. I'll never forget what he said in response, which turned out to be the truest thing, "But I'm a walking encyclopedia! What more do you need?" And he really is. I believe it now as much as I did when I was a little girl. What he lacks in the form of any college degree is more than made up for by his lifetime of voracious reading of pretty much anything he could get his hands on, (including Scientific American at one time.) As a result, he can pontificate on any given subject for at least five minutes, minimum.
Now, a girl can sing the praises of her father, you think...but, really, dad's putting me to shame on Scrabulous, and as StyleyGeek can attest, I'm not an easily crushed opponent. Styley and I have been forced to conclude, after 4 bingos between us in a single game, that we are both geniuses. So that would make my dad a super-genius, but I'm sure he would have a better word for it than that!
Maybe I should start posting family gush warnings on my blogposts, but I haven't been home for the holidays, as you might have guessed, I've been diligently getting my dissertation draft to my committee. Which happened days after my advisor received the draft. He said, and I quote, "I'm giving you the green light to send this to your committee." I tried to sound all cool, and say, "Oh, I'm really happy to hear that." But inside I was screaming yay!yay!yay!
Anyway, after one post about my brother, and now another about my dad...maybe, hopefully, by the end of January if schedules co-operate, its time to go home for a dissertation defense?
Miraculous happy ending
Dr. Advisor suggested that I FedEx the draft to him overnight on Thursday, so he could get it on Friday, before he leaves town on Saturday. I've never understood this assumption among academics that FedEx costs are within reach of their students. This is not the first time I've been told to overnight something like this. It cost around $40 to overnight it. I gulped, put it on the credit card, and tried to forget about it.
Well, the next day (Friday), I checked the FedEx site, and the package had been delivered. But. That night, I get an email from Dr. Advisor saying he did not get the package, but his travel plans have changed, so he'll look out for it tomorrow. I called FedEx, and they told me that it was delivered at 10.11am...to the wrong address. The right number, but two streets down. FedEx then assured me Dr. Advisor would get it by noon tomorrow (Saturday).
Come Saturday, even after hours on the phone (mostly on hold)FedEx just threw their hands up in the air and said they could not retrieve the package until Monday. This would normally make me angry, but I was beyond anger at this point. After 30 minutes on hold, they put me through to the dispatcher in the wrong city, I was almost in tears. I spent half of my day trying to get this sorted out, and it was clear to me that FedEx was not even remotely apologetic or trying to help. They pretty much said, well, sorry, this happens this time of year, drivers have a lot going on right now. She told me, my driver was sorry. Very sorry.
What happened next was nothing short of miraculous. I called the Kinkos closest to Dr. Advisor's house, and explained the situation, asking if there was anything they could do to help me. This sweet woman, who could tell that I was freaking out, kept saying to me, "I'm here to make things easier for you, let me see what I can do." She kept putting me on hold to ask her manager's permission for things, and finally, she told me to email the document, and if I paid the cost of prints by credit card, her manager would hand deliver the document without any additional charges, even though their delivery service was closed on the weekend, "because he's a nice guy." She wondered out loud why he was even there, "He's not even supposed to be working today," she added.
Well, the next day (Friday), I checked the FedEx site, and the package had been delivered. But. That night, I get an email from Dr. Advisor saying he did not get the package, but his travel plans have changed, so he'll look out for it tomorrow. I called FedEx, and they told me that it was delivered at 10.11am...to the wrong address. The right number, but two streets down. FedEx then assured me Dr. Advisor would get it by noon tomorrow (Saturday).
Come Saturday, even after hours on the phone (mostly on hold)FedEx just threw their hands up in the air and said they could not retrieve the package until Monday. This would normally make me angry, but I was beyond anger at this point. After 30 minutes on hold, they put me through to the dispatcher in the wrong city, I was almost in tears. I spent half of my day trying to get this sorted out, and it was clear to me that FedEx was not even remotely apologetic or trying to help. They pretty much said, well, sorry, this happens this time of year, drivers have a lot going on right now. She told me, my driver was sorry. Very sorry.
What happened next was nothing short of miraculous. I called the Kinkos closest to Dr. Advisor's house, and explained the situation, asking if there was anything they could do to help me. This sweet woman, who could tell that I was freaking out, kept saying to me, "I'm here to make things easier for you, let me see what I can do." She kept putting me on hold to ask her manager's permission for things, and finally, she told me to email the document, and if I paid the cost of prints by credit card, her manager would hand deliver the document without any additional charges, even though their delivery service was closed on the weekend, "because he's a nice guy." She wondered out loud why he was even there, "He's not even supposed to be working today," she added.
Dissertation is OUT
Well, for now, anyway. Its back in my advisor's box! I'm squaring away a few little things, and hoping he'll give me a green light in early January, to send this out to my committee. I need sleep, badly.
Post thanksgiving thankfulness
Inspired by some posts over at Repressed Libriarian's I have been working on being more appreciative and thankful for what is in my life. About six years ago, when I had returned to my parents’ place for a winter break, there were so many people in the apartment that my younger sister and I had spent the night in sleeping bags on the living room floor. I was sound asleep when my brother knocked loudly on the front door around 8.30 on a Sunday morning. My sister and I were determined to sleep through anything, preferably until around noon, when our mother wouldn’t stand it anymore and got us up in time for lunch.
Somehow my brother, who is significantly older than my sister and I, managed to wake us up, and convinced us that my sister and I were going to join him at his Sunday morning yoga class. As I recall, my parents agreed that it was a great idea, and we should be awake by then anyway. By the time we were done arguing, we were already half awake, and decided it wasn’t worth arguing about anymore, though we were skeptical about anything sporty that didn’t involve tennis. Off we went to yoga class, in my brother’s luxury car, three towels and three water bottles in tow. It was the first time I had been in a formal yoga class. The teacher had one of those soothing voices that can talk you into any contortion, and, she made sure you didn’t feel bad if you couldn’t get it. Visualize yourself touching your toes, she said, for those of us who couldn’t reach. Her calming energy penetrated the room, and before we knew it, the one hour class was over. It was transformative. I felt the difference in my energy and calmness before and after the class.
Six years later, I can’t imagine my life without yoga. My brother doesn’t read this blog, but I’m just taking this space to say an invisible thank you to him. I recently discovered Yoga Today, which gives me an hour long free class every day, without having to leave home!
Somehow my brother, who is significantly older than my sister and I, managed to wake us up, and convinced us that my sister and I were going to join him at his Sunday morning yoga class. As I recall, my parents agreed that it was a great idea, and we should be awake by then anyway. By the time we were done arguing, we were already half awake, and decided it wasn’t worth arguing about anymore, though we were skeptical about anything sporty that didn’t involve tennis. Off we went to yoga class, in my brother’s luxury car, three towels and three water bottles in tow. It was the first time I had been in a formal yoga class. The teacher had one of those soothing voices that can talk you into any contortion, and, she made sure you didn’t feel bad if you couldn’t get it. Visualize yourself touching your toes, she said, for those of us who couldn’t reach. Her calming energy penetrated the room, and before we knew it, the one hour class was over. It was transformative. I felt the difference in my energy and calmness before and after the class.
Six years later, I can’t imagine my life without yoga. My brother doesn’t read this blog, but I’m just taking this space to say an invisible thank you to him. I recently discovered Yoga Today, which gives me an hour long free class every day, without having to leave home!
ABDs save the world through procrastination
You, too can join the fun here
And, now I'm getting back to the dissertation, no, really. I am.
And, now I'm getting back to the dissertation, no, really. I am.
Hellish week already
Stay tuned for more posting soon...I've been dealing with stress-induced illness for the past few days. And, in the next 10 days, you know what has to happen? You guessed it, the rest of the dissertation goes away. Pray, cross your fingers, send good vibes or do whatever it is you do to help me get through this week. I'll have more to report when its over.
Check out my chapter listing
For those who have accidentally missed the sidebar with dissertation chapters listed, check it out!! I finished 5 and 6 this week. I feel I have redeemed my poor performance in InaDwriMo. Now I can enjoy the rest of the weekend with less guilt and more time to clean my messy apartment. Does writing progress mean a messy place?
ETA: I'm now removing the writing meter, since counting words when editing is really pretty lame, and I am feeling good enough about my progress to get rid of it.
ETA: I'm now removing the writing meter, since counting words when editing is really pretty lame, and I am feeling good enough about my progress to get rid of it.
On eating out solo
Even a few years ago, my eyes always drifted to people who were eating alone at restaurants. I couldn't help myself from looking, trying to decipher who these people were that felt brave enough or desperate enough to go out to eat on their own. I'm not talking about grabbing a quick sandwich in the middle of the workday, I mean a nice cloth napkin place on a weekend evening, or a decadently slow Sunday brunch with all the couples around.
It seems silly now, because its something I now do every once in a while. I don't like to eat out much at all, partly because I think cooking is one of my self-soothing activities, and partly because I'm one very picky vegetarian, and when I'm not on a sugar kick, like the cupcakes I baked yesterday to celebrate the finishing of Chapter 5, I do try to stay on the healthy side of things. The other part of it is just having moved to Postdoc city, and being in a dissertation bubble I don't get out that much, and when I do, its not for food. I'm sure there are places here that I have to discover, but I haven't put in the effort to do it.
Anyway, things have changed in a few years. I've been forced to move 6 times in the last two years, and that's taken its toll, I have only a few friends here Postdoc city. I now think nothing of showing up at a restaurant, asking for a table for one, declining the offer to sit at the bar (which I've found uncomfortable if you really want to eat and enjoy the meal), and feeling very comfortable sitting on my own. I used to bring a book to read, and sometimes I still do, but I don't have that naked feeling without my book. I don't hide behind my book anymore. I'm okay even without the book. It seems silly to post about this, but I am really feeling like its a milestone for me. I'm okay with eating out on my own. I feel a bit more grown up.
It seems silly now, because its something I now do every once in a while. I don't like to eat out much at all, partly because I think cooking is one of my self-soothing activities, and partly because I'm one very picky vegetarian, and when I'm not on a sugar kick, like the cupcakes I baked yesterday to celebrate the finishing of Chapter 5, I do try to stay on the healthy side of things. The other part of it is just having moved to Postdoc city, and being in a dissertation bubble I don't get out that much, and when I do, its not for food. I'm sure there are places here that I have to discover, but I haven't put in the effort to do it.
Anyway, things have changed in a few years. I've been forced to move 6 times in the last two years, and that's taken its toll, I have only a few friends here Postdoc city. I now think nothing of showing up at a restaurant, asking for a table for one, declining the offer to sit at the bar (which I've found uncomfortable if you really want to eat and enjoy the meal), and feeling very comfortable sitting on my own. I used to bring a book to read, and sometimes I still do, but I don't have that naked feeling without my book. I don't hide behind my book anymore. I'm okay even without the book. It seems silly to post about this, but I am really feeling like its a milestone for me. I'm okay with eating out on my own. I feel a bit more grown up.
almost there
I'm inches away from finishing Chapter 5. Its looking much better now, too. But, I had to adhere to my 10pm stop time, and save the joy of finishing it for tomorrow. It's a good thing to look forward to, given what a struggle its been these past few days. I've had a bit of the chills this evening, so I'm going to put on a nice pot of camomile tea and be like my granny and knit out some of the day's stresses on the scarf I'm making for the lucky Mad Hatter! The more I knit it, the more I like it, though its a pretty simple pattern, it has a simple elegance to it.
Spiciness
You scored 75% intoxication, 50% hotness, 75% complexity, and 50% craziness!
You are Saffron!
Those other spices have nothing on you! You're warm, smart, and you make people feel really good (and with no side-effects!). You can be difficult to get to know and require a lot of those who try, but you're so totally worth it. *Sigh*
| Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
December writing
Bloglily helped me to put some perspective on my November goal suckitude:
So, instead of feeling sad about not meeting my goal, I'm gonna keep my counter on the blog. And, now that the evil writers' block has found someone else to block, as they say in New Orleans, "we rollin'." The writing parade for December is ON. I am going to get this dissertation out of my life before the year is up and that is that.
for every goal that is scored, a player has to make ten shots on goal. I love that fact. If you keep kicking in the general direction of the goal, and pay attention to where your kicks go, and try to make them straighter, truer and stronger, you will eventually get the ball in the net. If you are a writer, you have to take hundreds of shots, but that is the only significant difference between you and David Beckham. Well, almost..
So, instead of feeling sad about not meeting my goal, I'm gonna keep my counter on the blog. And, now that the evil writers' block has found someone else to block, as they say in New Orleans, "we rollin'." The writing parade for December is ON. I am going to get this dissertation out of my life before the year is up and that is that.
Stress
This is how I feel right now. Except, without the blonde hair. I'm stuck on Chapter 5, even though a) I know exactly what I want to write,b) its not that much, c) its not that challenging. BUT. I am stuck. Imminent deadline of the MadHatter's return on Dec 9th is stressing me out rather than pushing me forward to get this done.
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