Multitasking

I don't think I am good at it. I can only concentrate on one major task at a time. Now that I am working on my job app. for Out West Job, it has been much harder to finish my revisions. I did get in a couple of really good hours yesterday, but I spent way too long on my CV and other parts of the application. How are others so good at multiple responsibilities that are all time-sensitive?

Positive encouragement

I got an email today that I have to blog about to savor the positive encouragement that has been so rare in my academic life. I asked WiseMA advisor to write me a letter of recommendation for a job I am applying for. I also updated him on my move to Postdoc city, told him I had given a complete draft to my dissertation advisor, and that I am now revising the draft. This is part of his reply:

Congratulations! You are on the move!

I'll be glad, indeed ecstatic to write the letter.

From the depths of revising hell (although today was productive, it wasn't exactly fun) I am enjoying that email. Why is it that so few academics can be encouraging of their students. I think I was spoiled as an MA student, and my PhD advisor seems sorely lacking to me, since he hasn't ever encouraged me directly. I did hear that he thought well of me from another professor, but I think I just have this need for approval from authority figures or something. Okay, enough musings. I am off to bed!

i heart knitting!

I just found the best de-stressor for myself. I'm knitting a hat! It is the beginning project for my knitting class, and I am actually doing my homework for Saturday. This is the perfect thing to help balance my writing-overloaded life.

I have been so unbalanced for so long that I am afraid I will go to the other extreme and just do all silly stuff instead of finishing my diss. because I realize how much of life I have been missing throughout this process. I will have to rein it in and still try to enjoy these moments where I can.

Cooking

Since I've been writing my dissertation I have gone through several phases with my cooking. First, I was making really elaborate meals in avoidance of work. Next, I made three healthy but identical and really boring quick meals every single day. Then I got into another phase where I was mostly eating out because I was living in a dorm while on a writing fellowship, not very conducive to doing much cooking. Now I have moved to postdoc city, and because I am still writing, and though I live in a nice duplex with a cute kitchen, I didn't bother changing it up. I rarely use my kitchen, and often admire how shiny and clean my old yellow electric stove is. I'm trying to change that and eat more home-cooked goodness while I am writing, but nothing too fancy that takes hours. Tonight I made a meal in about 40 minutes that really hit the spot. It was a pasta dish with zucchini and marscapone cheese from the Moosewood New Classics Cookbook. One thing I really like about this book is that the time estimates are very accurate, even for a slow-poke like me. I'm sure Rachel Ray could have made this meal in under 30 minutes, but I find that this cookbook has the perfect time estimates for Alice.

Thanks

The Lives of Others, which I just finished watching, is a brilliant movie. If you haven't seen it, go rent it. If you have, read on...I haven't seen anything this good in a while. I think one of the things I liked most about it was the unspoken thanks between the two main characters. Sometimes I guess, in weird situations someone can save your life without your knowing it until much later. And then, how do you thank someone for doing something for which you can never repay them? Most likely this is not in terms of literally saving my life, but I know that I too, have been the recipient of unspoken good deeds, some of which I probably don't even know about yet, and may never find out. I have discovered that there were a couple of professors that did this sort of thing for me to help me along ,without my knowledge at the time. It is comforting to know that there are people like that in academia. Good people. Okay. I got sappy there, but its true.

Fall is in the air

Okay, its fall. I wore a jacket to campus this morning. I think maybe because I am not involved in teaching or taking classes and don't have much interaction with anyone but my postdoc mentor, the start of the semester has been no more than just more people around in the hallways and on campus. Fall hadn't really sunk in until this shift in the weather.

I feel like it is so easy for me to get isolated here. I am an introvert, but I like being around people too, but being a postdoc is strange. I feel like I don't have much reason to talk to anyone else. I think Mentorprof is getting the sense that I am depressed. He wouldn't be completely off, but he hasn't actually said anything like that to me. I just get the sense that he can tell that I am in a bit of a fog. Part of it is not being done with the dissertation, it puts me in an in-between and not-so-officially here position. Part of it is just feeling aloof from all that is going on in this new department. I am not even sure where to begin. It seems like everyone is busy with their own thing. I hope that finishing up my revisions will help me to feel more grounded here.

Revising progress

Or, lack thereof. I thought oh, I can knock out a couple of chapters in a day. Hah! Not so much. I guess writing is faster than revising, because you can just type type away. Revising is more like hacking away at the sculpture to refine it. And refinement, unfortunately, takes time. Not something I have. But hey. On the bright side, some of my other comittments for today were canceled, so I have the rest of the day to make some real dents in this.

Beauty in my day

Mornings are so beautiful here, I have a small front porch and my neighbor's gardening skills attract butterflies, birds and squirrels every morning. I'd like to try to get up early enough to have time to appreciate the mornings rather than gulping down my coffee so I can get to work. That is a future plan, though. For today, I have quite a bit on my plate, including something fun to look forward to at the end of the day, movie night with my friend across the street.

Getting back in gear

Its late and I am ready to trundle off to bed, but I'm making public my goals for tomorrow, in the hopes that it will get me going when I am bleary eyed and want to hit the snooze button in the morning. Let's see what I can cross off the list tomorrow. This dissertation writing is overwhelming in the sense that it takes so long when you think that you are almost done, it stretches out longer and longer. Let's hope I can put myself out of my misery and get this hot potato out of my hands and to my advisor by Monday.